a goodbye kiss

The Board Meeting had come to an end.
Bob
started to stand up and jostled the table,
spilling
his coffee over his notes. "How
embarrassing. I am getting so clumsy in my old age."
Everyone had a good laugh, and soon we
were
all telling stories of our most
embarrassing
moments. It came around to Frank who sat
quietly listening to the others. Someone
said,
"Come on, Frank. Tell us your most
embarrassing moment."
Frank laughed and began to tell us of his childhood. "I grew up in San Pedro. My
Dad was
a fisherman, and he loved the sea. He had
his
own boat, but it was hard making a living
on the sea. He worked hard and would stay out
until he
caught enough to feed the family. Not just
enough for our family, but also for his
Mom and
Dad and the other kids that were still at home."
He looked at us and said, "I wish you
could have
met my Dad. He was a big man, and he
was
strong from pulling the nets and fighting the seas
for his catch. When you got close to him,
he
smelled like the ocean. He would wear
his old
canvas, foul-weather coat and his bibbed overalls. His rain hat would be pulled
down over
his brow. No matter how much my
Mother
washed them, they would still smell of
the sea and of fish."
Frank's voice dropped a bit. "When the
weather
was bad he would drive me to school. He
had
this old truck that he used in his fishing business.
That truck was older than he was. It
would
wheeze and rattle down the road. You
could hear
it coming for blocks. As he would drive toward
the school,I would shrink down into the
seat
hoping to disappear. Half the time, he
would slam
to a stop and the old truck would belch a cloud of
smoke. He would pull right up in front,
and it
seemed like everybody would be
standing
around and watching. Then he would lean over
and give me a big kiss on the cheek and
tell me to
be a good boy. It was so embarrassing
for me.
Here, I was twelve years old, and my Dad would
lean over and kiss me goodbye!"
He paused and then went on, "I
remember the
day I decided I was too old for a goodbye
kiss. When we got to the school and came to a
stop,
he had his usual big smile. He started to
lean
toward me, but I put my hand up and
said, 'No, Dad.'
It was the first time I had ever talked to
him that
way, and he had this surprised look on
his face.
I said, 'Dad, I'm too old for a goodbye kiss. I'm
too old for any kind of kiss.'
My Dad looked at me for the longest time,
and his
eyes started to tear up. I had never seen
him cry. He turned and looked out the windshield.
'You're
right,' he said. 'You are a big boy....a man.
I
won't kiss you anymore.'"
Frank got a funny look on his face, and the tears
began to well up in his eyes, as he spoke.
"It
wasn't long after that when my Dad went
to sea
and never came back. It was a day when most of
the fleet stayed in, but not Dad. He had a
big
family to feed. They found his boat adrift
with its
nets half in and half out. He must have gotten into
a gale and was trying to save the nets
and the
floats."
I looked at Frank and saw that tears
were running down his cheeks. Frank spoke again.
"Guys, you
don't know what I would give to have my
Dad
give me just one more kiss on the
cheek....to feel his rough old face....to smell the ocean on
him....to feel his arm around my neck. I
wish I
had been a man then. If I had been a
man, I
would never have told my Dad I was too old for
a goodbye kiss."